47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
