I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
