Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
