I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The Olympian is in my bed
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
