You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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