just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
