I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
being pregnant is like rehab
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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