so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
