i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I came so hard my ears popped.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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