maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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