OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
