How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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