dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
