Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize