yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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