Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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