On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
