I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
