What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
