the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
