The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
