Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
