he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
