Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize