She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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