I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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