ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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