new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
