But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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