dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm really busy with my period
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