I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
