wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
