When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
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She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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