That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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