Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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