At least make sure they are 18
Why
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
