i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
