i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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