I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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