I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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