Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
