you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it glows. i had to have it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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