What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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