Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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