3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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