Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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