Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
