he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize