I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
