You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
