a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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