maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
