What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
