I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
