Dual....:-)
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
