i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
