East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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