In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
