absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Randomize