We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
