Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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