I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
