Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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