drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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