yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
