can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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