Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
